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Saturday, August 26, 2006

kitty: rambling thoughts

Have you ever sat down and really thought about the reason’s why you knit?

On The ever-growing desire to be more efficient in my office and to improve my work area and space my I bought a new bookshelf for my office. I was so happy to finally un-boxed all of my yarns and spread them out on the bookshelf so that I could see them in all there glory. Woho, there was actual space to see my stash. I though I would be ecstatic. Unfortunately, I wasn’t and am still not happy. My office now looks smaller and really messy. The exact thing I was trying to get away from in getting the bookshelf.

I called my husband in to take a look and he made a comment that really made me just want to cry my eyes out. He said your office just looks like what you are, a board housewife that has far too much yarn. Then I got to thinking does he really thinks that is who I am and why I knit. It has been a long time since I felt so hurt.

At least for me, that is so far from the reason I actually knit it isn’t even funny. Knitting is the only shred of a dream that remains for me to become a professional fashion designer or textile curator. It is a small shred that I only within the last two years have I even been willing to allow myself to have. It really took everything I had to muster the power to start to knit.

When I got married I essentially closed the doors to my dreams, to pursue starting a business with my husband. There wasn’t time or money in those days to even think about the frivolities of crafting or sewing. It was all about doing what ever you had to do to get the business going. And I don’t regret the luxury of being able to work with the man I love everyday of my life and to be with him 24 hours a day.

But now, I am being labeled by M as a bored housewife. Maybe I am, or maybe there just is a part of me that is trying to get out to do the things I once loved.

Uggggggggggg…… I don’t know what to do with my office now. I hate it and feel even more trapped and stressed.

3 comments:

  1. If you are a bored housewife, does that mean M is a bored househ husband???? I wonder what he would say or how he would feel if you made similiar comments about his gaming toys? Just keep at and you will eventually find a way to oraganize your stash in the office thatyou like. Have your tried putting the yarn in baskets on the shelves and mix it in with books? I have done this and it looks rather nice.

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  2. aiya... dear Kitty Kitty, it is possible that he truly thinks of your knitting as "housewifely boredom (whatever that means)" and that he is wrong. both can be true. just because he believes it doesn't mean it's who you are.

    you know how much i love M, but you are the one who knows best why you craft and why it feeds you. you don't knit b/c he loves it or thinks it worthwhile.

    it stinks that you don't receive more empathy or support, but you don't have to buy his labels. just walk towards being honest and brave and solid about the labels you put on yourself. you get to define youself, Kitty Kitty; get hopping on that b/c you are awesome and don't realize it.

    i think yarns are hard to arrange attractively. it's an inherently messy endeavor. i'm w/ Mia; keep at it. maybe compartmentalize with books or baskets or wired containers? order by color? you'll figure it out.

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  3. I totally agree with Mia and meowgirl. Sometimes MEN say stupid things but they don't really mean it. My husband has make all kinds of comments towards my knitting habit. As much as I hate it, I rarelly get any support nor compliments from him. I'm glad if he doesn't bitch and moan that I spend too much time knitting & crafting.

    Anyways, what kind of shelf did you get? I saw one ikea and it look pretty decent for yarn display.

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