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Saturday, December 23, 2006

MG: an end


sometimes, everything in one's power is not enough. sometimes, i'm my worst enemy. at the juncture of a spectacular failure, of an end that didn't have to be, an end to the life i wanted. all i can do now is shed a few jars of angry tears then gather the pieces, hold them closer, and march forward...

because time is lived in one direction ...because i fought as best i knew how ...because even if i were to puzzle together the girl i want to be from these fragments, she would still require inhabiting to cement her.

in the mean time: the longest night of this year was pregnant with stars; the Garden State soundtrack has just enough angst, just enough guilt, just enough sadness sprinkled with hope to allow soaking in heartbreak without despair; and finally, tea and knitting make things better, for a little while.

Alishan Oolong & knitting, Far Leaves Tea

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you are dealing with whatever it is on your shoulders. I wish you moments of peace and beauty over the holidays and the coming year.

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about your sadness... wishing you well thru the holiday and the new year.

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  3. sending a giant hug your way. i absolutely agree with you on the garden state soundtrack - it helped me through many a long night filled with sad angry tears.

    "pregnant with stars"- i like that. it's always so sweet how even in the darkest times, we can still see and appreciate beauty.

    happy holidays, mg!

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